One thing you can do right now is report your card lost and ask for a new one with new numbers.
That way, no more fees will go on your card
I'm so sorry you are grieving so deeply, but dandylion is right,
you have to let it surface and feel it before you can fully heal.
Your father must have been a wonderful man--maybe with the sadness,
also remember the many good qualities and happy experiences you had
as part of your personal memorial to him.
