Great post and congrats on 23 days. I completely relate and could have written this myself. I also used up a lot of mental space in regret, shame and depression. Such a waste. But today I can do things differently. I'm about 4 months this time and it does get easier dealing with the empty space/time. I have started volunteering albeit only about 6 hours a week so far. But its a start. I also find I'm just getting used to 'being' as opposed to always planning, manipulating, lying, coping with shame etc. I can just hang out without doing much of anything much more easily. Give it more time.