i once had 30 sober days went to dinner with my wife and had 2 with dinner i mean i deserved it after 30 sober days and i figured who cares if i can quit for 30 surely i can just hav 2 and be done with it. I was right and wrong. those 2 lead to a 6 back on the way home and at least another decade of drinking daily.
I should have just dusted myself off and gotten back up and stayed sober from then on. but I also felt i was not an alcholic at the time too My other mistake.
your an alcoholic but not a failure. being an alcoholic is like a badge of honor anymore for me. recovery has taught me so much and helped me in so many ways in life.
Just dust yourself off get up and start again no big deal.