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10 days and failed

Old 10-12-2015, 06:49 AM
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10 days and failed

10 days sober, went for a meal with my wife, had a pint and snowballed from there, I am an alcoholic, a failure and ashamed. Drunk now
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Old 10-12-2015, 06:59 AM
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i once had 30 sober days went to dinner with my wife and had 2 with dinner i mean i deserved it after 30 sober days and i figured who cares if i can quit for 30 surely i can just hav 2 and be done with it. I was right and wrong. those 2 lead to a 6 back on the way home and at least another decade of drinking daily.

I should have just dusted myself off and gotten back up and stayed sober from then on. but I also felt i was not an alcholic at the time too My other mistake.

your an alcoholic but not a failure. being an alcoholic is like a badge of honor anymore for me. recovery has taught me so much and helped me in so many ways in life.

Just dust yourself off get up and start again no big deal.
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Old 10-12-2015, 07:07 AM
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You had 10 days sober, nothing says you cannot do it again. Get rid of any booze you have and start over tomorrow.
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Old 10-12-2015, 07:23 AM
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Yeah, sucks. I know how you feel. Acceptance is hard, but it is key.

Don't let this get you down. You still have 30 days, plus the learnings from your fail, to guide you. And us.
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Old 10-12-2015, 08:23 AM
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Yep, you have ten days so you know you can do it.
Don't let this lapse become a relapse.

Just stop again, revise you sobriety plan, and move on.
Post here if you feel tempted again first is one suggestion I have. . .
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Old 10-12-2015, 08:30 AM
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You can get back on the wagon and go another ten days and then much more. Learn from what happened and use that in your tool box.
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Old 10-12-2015, 03:10 PM
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I don;t like the word failure in this context. You've been sober 10 days, so you know you can do it - you just need to work out now how to stay that way. I won;t lie - it's the biggest part of the job, but it's not impossible.

Look at your support - do you have enough? do you use the support you have effectively?

and...look at your lifestyle too - maybe, for now, until you build some 'sober muscles' it's best not to eat in licensed restaurants for example?

D
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Old 10-12-2015, 03:15 PM
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Changingman - failures don't continue to try, they just fold up.

You came here to tell what happened. I'm sure you learned something valuable from this. Never give up on having a better life - let's try this again.
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Old 10-12-2015, 11:26 PM
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Changing,

How are you?
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Old 10-13-2015, 12:27 AM
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Good job on 10 days. I used to find it hard to get past 10 days, and had a few relapses at that point..

And, dinners out are hard.. we feel we deserve, and can handle a drink. If you're used to drinking with dinner something seems to be missing.. but I'm here to tell you it doesn't have to be difficult.

I eat in restaurants all over the world without wanting alcohol. Just develop a non-alcoholic substitute. I like tonic water. Or Calamansi, a citrus drink popular here in SE Asia.

Once you make two weeks it's mentally easier. You can do it.
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Old 10-13-2015, 03:09 AM
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Have you got a plan
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Old 10-13-2015, 04:04 AM
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10 days is when the cravings were strong.

I was dealing w strong fog and anxiety at 10 days so it was motivational to not drink, since I thought I was going to die if I did. Thank God for that.

Totally agree w all the advice and support.

The craving bolts for me have been the strongest in restaurants. It is ingrained in the subconscious I am sure. No sure fire advice here.

I would look around and really notice that just a few people were drinking booze.

That helped me order water. Usually, 3 by the time the meal was done. Felt good to leave the place being hydrated instead of beer bloated and coming off a bill boosting mini buzz.

Back in the day, as soon as I knew we were going out the drinking would start. Then it would resume upon returning home. But, since I was already drunk for a few hours, it would take a lot more to keep the feeling growing. That led to massive quantities consumed and hellish hangovers.

Not fun...
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Old 10-13-2015, 07:04 AM
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Originally Posted by Dropsie View Post
Changing,

How are you?
Hi Dropsie

Hungover but lesson learned, a small amount of drink seems to cave my mind in now, not worth it. Thank you for your concern.
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Old 10-13-2015, 08:19 PM
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Hang in there brother. If you made it 10 days you really can do this. Keep posting.. we're here for you.
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Old 10-13-2015, 10:02 PM
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10 days is enough to feel like you deserve a drink. I know because I can't seem to get past 10 days. Hugs and wishing you the best for your sobrietry
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Old 10-13-2015, 11:33 PM
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Changing,

I am glad to hear you are okay -- onward and upward.

For me, its important to remember that every little bit hurts, so keep it as a small slip, and don't use it as an excuse to open the flood gates. But you know that.

You got this. Is your wife in the loop?
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Old 10-14-2015, 04:19 AM
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Originally Posted by Dropsie View Post
Changing,

I am glad to hear you are okay -- onward and upward.

For me, its important to remember that every little bit hurts, so keep it as a small slip, and don't use it as an excuse to open the flood gates. But you know that.

You got this. Is your wife in the loop?
That's a very good question actually. Sometimes our partners don't help much. My ex gf used to drink wine in front of me. Made it hard for me when I was trying to quit, and I often caved. She said she didn't think I had a problem, sigh. I have a non-drinking gf now and it's so much easier.
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Old 10-14-2015, 03:25 PM
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Originally Posted by Dropsie View Post
Changing,

I am glad to hear you are okay -- onward and upward.

For me, its important to remember that every little bit hurts, so keep it as a small slip, and don't use it as an excuse to open the flood gates. But you know that.

You got this. Is your wife in the loop?
It was a slip and wasn't worth it, I don't get a buzz from drink any more, just fills a craving with no satisfaction. My wife is aware of my endeavours but doesn't think I had a serious problem, I know I was in freefall. She is supportive though and drinks in controlled moderation.
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