I brought an adult beverage home. With four bags of misc items after running errands, no one had a clue. I stashed it away for later tonight....just one. No one would know.
After posting earlier I was really in a state. So much of this bottled up. With the trial and travel expenses, can't afford my therapist. Big deep breathe. I was planning my drink. I can go bead in my craft room, no one will know. So I puttered around. The house got quiet. I was ready. I went to my loo. There on the mirror is my statement. "I want to be sober". Boom. The tears came. I'm sitting on the bathroom floor crying like boob! My husband came looking for me. My precious precious husband asked me what he could do to help me. "Go in the black bag and pour that out." He did. Came back, sat down in the floor next to me. Told me how much he loves me, he knows that was hard on me. He is proud of me. Then he told me he knew it was in there, he saw it when I was in the feed store.He was watching me to see how I handled it. THEN the sweetheart pulled cash out of his wallet. A tip from a customer after leaving her bathroom cleaner than he found it after replacing plumbing and base. Told me to call Doc., make an appointment before trial starts and get some of this off my chest. So, his Christmas stash is going to my sanity.
I have a support system. One that doesn't take it personally. I have tried for a year now to do this. I haven't made 90 days yet. Humbled by how much he loves me. So, now that I have put all this out there, I will gather myself. Take a hot soak, get ready for an early Monday.
Here's praying for a better Monday.
Bless us all.