Keep it simple right now. You do not have to worry about definitions or labels when it comes to a higher power right now.
The first thing you do is admit powerlessness over alcohol and an unmanageable life.
Then you need to believe that something other than yourself, which has not worked so well up to this point, might be able to help you.
Then you just have to become willing to seek help and turn you will power and control over to this something out there more powerful than you.
Only after working the steps do you have a spiritual awakening (reread step 12). Sometimes people's higher power changes between steps 1 and 12. Sometimes it does not.
Your higher power is personal to you. You don't have to explain it, rationalize it or apologize about it to anyone.
Keep an open mind, work the steps, don't stress about labels or other people's ideals and just put one foot in front if the and start that personal inventory if you want to find peace and stay sober.
Something has carried you this far. Life is good, enjoy the day.