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God of understanding and not feeling honest in AA

Old 10-09-2015, 11:54 AM
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God of understanding and not feeling honest in AA

My God of understanding is different than what is says in the Big Book and what I'm hearing in AA meetings. I feel dishonest and not true to myself when I say The Lord's Prayer using Him, Father etc. and don't relate to the religious aspect. I'm confused because I'm to choose a God of my understanding and then follow the one in AA. I like the program and the steps. I'm doing a step 4 and still looking for a sponsor.
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Old 10-09-2015, 12:06 PM
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I'm not an AA person, but others will be along to give you advice.
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Old 10-09-2015, 12:06 PM
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whenever we say "The Lord's Prayer" in my home group, I hear at least three different versions being recited.

Our Creator, Our Mother, Spirit of the Universe.... and others.

remember that while AA does sincerely mean GOD AS WE UNDERSTAND HIM.... still it is a program based on humans and it had to be written down in language. So, words had to be chosen.

We have to walk into that AA meeting and open that Big Book with the awareness that the founders could never have come up with a set of words that would simply appeal to and feel "right" to everyone. So, they chose words that were simple and recognizable and then they built those words around a philosophy, around principles and practices.

You will get some people in AA who believe that the program refers to the Christian God and that THEIR understanding is the "right" one and they will try to use the words and the book to validate that view. That is not in keeping with the philosophy of the program. Let these type of folks have their opinion... all that matters is that you know and understand the real intent. Remind yourself that this program is there FOR YOU.... it's there to help YOU recover. And it's there for all those others, too - but it's not their business to decide how the program applies to you.

I understand the feelings you're having... I've had them too. AA's conception of God and AA's words sometimes rub me wrong as well. But AA and the Big Book have really been powerful tools in my sobriety. I encourage you to hang in there, practice acceptance, take what works and set aside the things that don't .
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Old 10-09-2015, 12:17 PM
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Originally Posted by oldsoul1122 View Post
I'm to choose a God of my understanding and then follow the one in AA.
I personally don't use AA as a recovery resource, others with more experience will hopefully post after me.

But I'm a great believer in making recovery an individual journey, whatever works for you, the goal here is to be Sober, and remain Sober, the method can be adjusted to suit the person.

You don't have to choose anything, take the bits that work for you and leave the rest, and if the equation works, then it works and no one can say any different!!
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Old 10-09-2015, 12:33 PM
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I'd say if you have faith you have faith whatever that faith is its yours
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Old 10-09-2015, 12:38 PM
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If someone is baptized into the Catholic
Faith, religion, family, schooling and decides
not to attend church anymore, in my opinion
I don't think they are doomed to hell or that
God has disowned him or her.

I was taught the AA program of recovery
25 yrs ago and continue to use it as I travel
along my spiritual journey in life.

When I brought 2 beautiful babies in
the world yrs ago, we had them baptized
in the Catholic Church and blessed in the
my in'laws Disciples of Christ Christian
church that opens their doors to all
religious denominations.

My kids began with the Catholic schools
and after relocating to a new state we
enrolled them in the public school. They
also made various friends all in different
religions.

Their friends invited them to their church
services and to me I thought that was
awesome and always told my kids that
as long as you have faith and live life
right then you will taken care of.

That it didn't matter to me where they
got their religion just as long as they had
it as a part of their lifes.

I figured in the long run they would
become adults with families of their
own and what we as parents taught
them along the way then they would
carry it into their own lives.

I believe the same thing with recovery.
It doesn't matter what kind of program
you choose to use in helping you achieve
a sober or clean life for yrs down the road
just as long as you learn it, absorb it, apply
it to all areas of ones life.

AA has worked for me, but I love reading
about other helpful ways to enjoy life
healthy, happy and honest from other
recovery programs available today.

What ever program works for you
and you choose to follow and incorporate
in your own life and that will help you
live a healthy, happy, honest life, then
by all means work it in ur life to keep
you alive.
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Old 10-09-2015, 12:42 PM
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Originally Posted by oldsoul1122 View Post
My God of understanding is different than what is says in the Big Book and what I'm hearing in AA meetings. I feel dishonest and not true to myself when I say The Lord's Prayer using Him, Father etc. and don't relate to the religious aspect. I'm confused because I'm to choose a God of my understanding and then follow the one in AA. I like the program and the steps. I'm doing a step 4 and still looking for a sponsor.
from The Big Book - (from chapter 4)

"To us the realm of Spirit is broad, roomy, all-inclusive; never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek".

There are lots of statements just like this, throughout the Big Book, which make it clear that just because they use the word God and the He, Him, Father words - doesn't mean that those words have to be the words that YOU use.

Fill in every occurrence of those words with the term "The Great Mystery", for example. Read through and every time you read a "God word" - replace it with "The Great Mystery". Then the Big Book takes on a whole new light.
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Old 10-09-2015, 01:37 PM
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Hi oldsoul -- I can relate for sure. When I first got in AA, I had a hard time with some of it, specifically the Lord's Prayer (which is said at the end of my favorite weekly home group meeting). For months I was just silent during the Lord's Prayer because it didn't feel honest to participate. Now I say it because I like participating and connecting with the group .. .I haven't changed my beliefs at all, I just sort of change the words in my head to match my own beliefs.

I guess others in the group probably have a different conception of a higher power than do I ... but it really doesn't matter. We don't have to have the same beliefs at all ... we're just supporting each other to work the steps in our lives and stay sober, using whatever spiritual beliefs are right for each of us.

I think of the words as a very imperfect "shorthand" for spiritual principles, which are impossible to describe in words.
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Old 10-09-2015, 01:45 PM
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Originally Posted by tursiops999 View Post

I think of the words as a very imperfect "shorthand" for spiritual principles, which are impossible to describe in words.
This is the cleanest, most perfect summary of how I feel about it...

thank you.
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Old 10-09-2015, 04:01 PM
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Hi.
I’ve been sober in the program a lot of years and am not a religious person at all.
I do have a Higher Power which I loosely at times call God – of my understanding, much more powerful than I am.

It’s a spiritual program no matter what label many put on it. I’ve in many thousands meetings have heard anyone say anyone must follow this or that Faith.

“Those who speak of spirituality outside of religion often define themselves as spiritual but not religious and generally believe in the existence of different "spiritual paths," emphasizing the importance of finding one's own individual path to spirituality.”

BE WELL
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Old 10-09-2015, 04:20 PM
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I'm a devote Christian and I don't believe the Our Father should have a place in AA. My first sponsor would just step away when it was said.

AA is about so much more than any one piece. It is blueprint for living that is inclusive enough for just about anyone that belives in something greater than themselves
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Old 10-09-2015, 04:37 PM
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At the place I go they say the Our Father at the end of the meeting. But not the Catholic version like I know. so I'm always mumbling the last words.

But in the meetings most folks use the term "higher power" when they talk and share.

there is stuff in AA I don't care for but so far I'm just picking the things I like. My guess is your God doesn't care if you mumble along a closing prayer.

You know, in the United States our national anthem is just a terrible song. Nobody knows the words and the melody is so poor. And most people don't even know what the song is about. But we all stand there and mumble our way through it.

Something to consider.

And now - one of my favorite versions of that song:

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Old 10-09-2015, 05:43 PM
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I live in the Bible Belt. A small handful lightly push Christianity. It all turned me off too. Working the steps helped. I had religion issues to work through.

I also had to learn that there is a difference between religion and spirituality.
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Old 10-09-2015, 05:47 PM
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Cool

Originally Posted by ClearLight View Post
...in the United States our national anthem is just a terrible song. Nobody knows the words and the melody is so poor. And most people don't even know what the song is about. But we all stand there and mumble our way through it.
Wow, you and I must know totally different folks. Most of the folks I know, or with whom I'm even mildly acquainted, know at least the first verse be heart, and some know the second also.........and none of us mumble; and we know what it's about. Oh, and the tune.....? Blame the brits; the melody was written by a British composer.

(o:
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Old 10-09-2015, 06:17 PM
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Appendix II at the back of the Big Book explain it quite well for me.

" With few exceptions our members find that they have tapped an unsuspected inner resource which they presently identify with their own conception of a Power greater than themselves.

Most of us think this awareness of a Power greater than ourselves is the essence of spiritual experience. Our more religious members call it “God-consciousness.” "

Unsuspected inner resource, which I now call God because I can't think of a better word. Still haven't joined any religion though, so I am not one of the more religious members.

I once detested the use of the Lords prayer in meetings. Now I have a different attitude. I quite like the sentiments the prayer expresses, and it says things I would like to say in a better way than I could come up with on my own.
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Old 10-10-2015, 01:21 AM
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It should be a higher power of YOUR understanding. Don't worry about what others in the meeting's HP is.

I think it might be worth broaching this in a meeting (maybe in the coffee break) to someone you feel is reasonable - I'm fairly sure you'll be pleasantly relieved by the responses. Getting a sponsor so you can discuss this stuff before embarking on Step 4 would also be a good idea. Step 4 and 5 without a sponsor while you're already feeling a bit wobbly re the whole HP issue sounds like a bit of a risk to me.

I suppose I'm lucky because in the meetings I go to, people have very varying ideas of what their HP is, and organised religion features very little in it.

There are some great threads on the 12-step sub-forum that might be helpful where others have has similar worries that might be worth looking at...

Step 2 - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...on-aa-god.html
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Old 10-10-2015, 02:00 AM
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Getting worked up over higher powers is not necessary if you are sober keep doing what you are doing there is no right or wrong way to stay sober it's a complete individual journey..
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Old 10-10-2015, 04:32 AM
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Well into my third decade in AA, I just don't recite the our father prayer at the end of the meeting.
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Old 10-10-2015, 07:06 AM
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To thine own self be true. If you don't have to join in saying the Lord's Prayer, then don't...just stand/sit in silence whilst those who want to recite it.

And AA doesn't have a God, or its understanding of God. Each AA member has their own interpretation of what their higher power is. AA doesn't care what yours is, only that you don't think it's your self. There are people of all kinds of faiths in the AA rooms, from believers in a supernatural deity from the bible, to those that believe that there is no supernatural deity whatsoever. All are welcome.
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Old 10-10-2015, 07:46 AM
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Keep it simple right now. You do not have to worry about definitions or labels when it comes to a higher power right now.

The first thing you do is admit powerlessness over alcohol and an unmanageable life.

Then you need to believe that something other than yourself, which has not worked so well up to this point, might be able to help you.

Then you just have to become willing to seek help and turn you will power and control over to this something out there more powerful than you.

Only after working the steps do you have a spiritual awakening (reread step 12). Sometimes people's higher power changes between steps 1 and 12. Sometimes it does not.

Your higher power is personal to you. You don't have to explain it, rationalize it or apologize about it to anyone.

Keep an open mind, work the steps, don't stress about labels or other people's ideals and just put one foot in front if the and start that personal inventory if you want to find peace and stay sober.

Something has carried you this far. Life is good, enjoy the day.
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