Hugs sweet one...Things will get better even if you don't feel they will at the moment. My divorce was finalized just yesterday. I grieved, but, probably like you, I've been grieving the loss of my marriage for a few years. The finalization was just the final door closing on a long, hard, more often than not agonizing journey living with an addict. Sweetie, you don't have to live like that anymore or ever again. Someone suggested I look at this as finally being free, and you know what, they are right! You and I are finally free to live in peace and change the course of our lives to show our children that there is a better way and it is possible to change bad circumstances. We are not stuck!
Cry. Cry a lot. Let it all out and then find peace. You may have to revisit crying periodically and know its ok. Just don't forget to look forward to the future and I pray you find some excitement in the thought of what wonderful things lay in wait for you. You are brave! Hugs!!