You know I had an argument the other day with a guy about various sports stars who had alcohol or substance abuse problems. Could they have been hall of famers or even better (some were in the hall of fame) if they didn't drink or drug? Who knows? They may have injured themselves or just faded away. There are plenty of non alcoholics who aren't great. So time to move on. First things first. Get sober. Life might not be so great but you'll have a little more money (not spending on alcohol), feel a little better, and not be drunk or hungover which could impair your judgement. Hang in there