Welcome DaisyBee!
Good for you finding the strength to show yourself after peeking around the corner for a while. Of course I did the same thing. Read and read for weeks of not a couple months?
Making my first post what a huge relief. I had finally admitted to myself that I need to stop. I had finally drummed up the courage to do it, and I could see that it's doable.
Things really changed for me after I posted day 1 here on April 20th. And thats all I was promising at the time was one day. I didn't post after a full day sober, I posted a simple promise that I would not drink for that one day.
That one day was very doable. I made it a whole day without alcohol!!!! First thing I did on the next day make a promise I would not drink for that day.
When things got tough, I posted. If I couldn't post, I read. Just keep filling your mind with what SR has to offer. It'll keep you straight.
And wow....
Congrats to you for talking to your hubby!!! That takes some real courage. I was private about my decision for a day or two, but I realized that I needed the accountability. After two days, there was noooo stopping me. I was going to push through this and come out a winner no matter what it took. If that meant I needed to tell those around me, then that's what I need to do.
You're going to live the AA mtg. Don't be embarrassed, don't be nervous or scared. You ARE going to be welcomed. You won't be forced to go again either. That's going to be up to you. You can take AA for as little or as much as you need or want.
I'm happy for you. You've really made some big decisions here in the last 24hrs and your following through. That's awesome. Keep it up!