Disgusted and ready to change
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 113
Disgusted and ready to change
Hello I'm new to this forum. I've read quite a bit but today is my first post. I'm an alcoholic. Moderation never ever works for me and unfortunately I have spent two decades in a vicious cycle of drinking heavily daily, many many attempts to quit, and then I get right back to the wine bottle.
I saw my doctor a week ago and he made it clear that abstinence is the only way for me to do this. And I finally agree because I'm tired and disgusted. Yesterday, I drank so much that I woke in the middle of the night with horrible anxiety. My poor husband comforted me and had to keep reassuring me that everything is ok because I was convinced I had done something terrible.
Today as I nurse my hangover and pick myself back up, I'm determined that this is the last Day 1 and I will do everything possible to protect my sobriety, my mental and physical health, and my sanity. I've removed all alcohol and am throwing out all of the wine related stuff in my life.
But...
I need support. That's why I'm here.
I saw my doctor a week ago and he made it clear that abstinence is the only way for me to do this. And I finally agree because I'm tired and disgusted. Yesterday, I drank so much that I woke in the middle of the night with horrible anxiety. My poor husband comforted me and had to keep reassuring me that everything is ok because I was convinced I had done something terrible.
Today as I nurse my hangover and pick myself back up, I'm determined that this is the last Day 1 and I will do everything possible to protect my sobriety, my mental and physical health, and my sanity. I've removed all alcohol and am throwing out all of the wine related stuff in my life.
But...
I need support. That's why I'm here.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Welcome on board Daisy Bee.
It might help if you describe when, where, who with, why and how you drink - people may have some ideas that could help you develop your personal sober plan.
You've taken a huge step in the right direction - wishing you all best for your sobriety and recovery
It might help if you describe when, where, who with, why and how you drink - people may have some ideas that could help you develop your personal sober plan.
You've taken a huge step in the right direction - wishing you all best for your sobriety and recovery
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Heyyyy daisybee
Welcome. Oh I relate to where you are. If you want this badly enough, you can do it. Just don't drink, no matter what....after a week or so you'll start to feel better.
Did you talk to your dr. about medically supervised detox? Once you get through detox you can start to think about how you plan to stay sober, what kind of support you'll need....that kind of thing. And there's tons of info here.
Welcome. Oh I relate to where you are. If you want this badly enough, you can do it. Just don't drink, no matter what....after a week or so you'll start to feel better.
Did you talk to your dr. about medically supervised detox? Once you get through detox you can start to think about how you plan to stay sober, what kind of support you'll need....that kind of thing. And there's tons of info here.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 113
Originally Posted by Beccybean 
Welcome on board Daisy Bee.
It might help if you describe when, where, who with, why and how you drink - people may have some ideas that could help you develop your personal sober plan.
You've taken a huge step in the right direction - wishing you all best for your sobriety and recovery
It might help if you describe when, where, who with, why and how you drink - people may have some ideas that could help you develop your personal sober plan.
You've taken a huge step in the right direction - wishing you all best for your sobriety and recovery
When: I would normally start at 5pm after a long day of work
Where: at home or in a bar/restaurant or hotel room if traveling for work
Who with: usually alone.. My spouse doesn't drink at all
How: My glass cannot be empty until the entire wine bottle is empty
I'm sure my biggest triggers are related to stress and being overwhelmed with my work
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 113
Originally Posted by Frickaflip233
Heyyyy daisybee
Welcome. Oh I relate to where you are. If you want this badly enough, you can do it. Just don't drink, no matter what....after a week or so you'll start to feel better.
Did you talk to your dr. about medically supervised detox? Once you get through detox you can start to think about how you plan to stay sober, what kind of support you'll need....that kind of thing. And there's tons of info here.
Welcome. Oh I relate to where you are. If you want this badly enough, you can do it. Just don't drink, no matter what....after a week or so you'll start to feel better.
Did you talk to your dr. about medically supervised detox? Once you get through detox you can start to think about how you plan to stay sober, what kind of support you'll need....that kind of thing. And there's tons of info here.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 60
Daisybee, we have all been in this place in some capacity or another. I have done the very same thing many, many times. I also got rid of all of my wine and martini signs that I had decorating my kitchen. This is a good path to be on, and although I have fallen off recently, I can tell you that I've learned more about myself through this forum. You take care of yourself! Congrats are taking the first step!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Have you thought about joining any support groups? I don't know where you are based, but AA is located pretty much everywhere now, and is free and available to anyone who has a desire to stop drinking. (I'm an AA bird and have found having meetings to go to when I might have busied myself in a bar, and the network of friendships I've made with other women in similar situation to me invaluable. As well as learning different ways to be at ease, and work through the resentments, fears, and anxieties of life that alcohol used to be a softener for) SMART, I believe, is also in a lot of places. There are SMART people here as well. There is a good sticky thread on here about different things people have used...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 113
I sat down and had a talk with my husband and was very honest with him about my drinking and my decision to quit. He is very supportive and committed to helping me stay sober. I feel like a weight has lifted but there is a long road ahead.
I found several AA meetings in my neighborhood and am going to one tomorrow.
I found several AA meetings in my neighborhood and am going to one tomorrow.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,444
Hi Daisy and welcome,
I'm glad you have decided to stop drinking and we're here for you.
It's always a good idea to talk to your dr before you stop drinking. Detoxing (when the alcohol leaves your body) is unpredictable and can be dangerous.
I'm glad you have decided to stop drinking and we're here for you.
It's always a good idea to talk to your dr before you stop drinking. Detoxing (when the alcohol leaves your body) is unpredictable and can be dangerous.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Welcome DaisyBee!
Good for you finding the strength to show yourself after peeking around the corner for a while. Of course I did the same thing. Read and read for weeks of not a couple months?
Making my first post what a huge relief. I had finally admitted to myself that I need to stop. I had finally drummed up the courage to do it, and I could see that it's doable.
Things really changed for me after I posted day 1 here on April 20th. And thats all I was promising at the time was one day. I didn't post after a full day sober, I posted a simple promise that I would not drink for that one day.
That one day was very doable. I made it a whole day without alcohol!!!! First thing I did on the next day make a promise I would not drink for that day.
When things got tough, I posted. If I couldn't post, I read. Just keep filling your mind with what SR has to offer. It'll keep you straight.
And wow....
Congrats to you for talking to your hubby!!! That takes some real courage. I was private about my decision for a day or two, but I realized that I needed the accountability. After two days, there was noooo stopping me. I was going to push through this and come out a winner no matter what it took. If that meant I needed to tell those around me, then that's what I need to do.
You're going to live the AA mtg. Don't be embarrassed, don't be nervous or scared. You ARE going to be welcomed. You won't be forced to go again either. That's going to be up to you. You can take AA for as little or as much as you need or want.
I'm happy for you. You've really made some big decisions here in the last 24hrs and your following through. That's awesome. Keep it up!
Good for you finding the strength to show yourself after peeking around the corner for a while. Of course I did the same thing. Read and read for weeks of not a couple months?
Making my first post what a huge relief. I had finally admitted to myself that I need to stop. I had finally drummed up the courage to do it, and I could see that it's doable.
Things really changed for me after I posted day 1 here on April 20th. And thats all I was promising at the time was one day. I didn't post after a full day sober, I posted a simple promise that I would not drink for that one day.
That one day was very doable. I made it a whole day without alcohol!!!! First thing I did on the next day make a promise I would not drink for that day.
When things got tough, I posted. If I couldn't post, I read. Just keep filling your mind with what SR has to offer. It'll keep you straight.
And wow....
Congrats to you for talking to your hubby!!! That takes some real courage. I was private about my decision for a day or two, but I realized that I needed the accountability. After two days, there was noooo stopping me. I was going to push through this and come out a winner no matter what it took. If that meant I needed to tell those around me, then that's what I need to do.
You're going to live the AA mtg. Don't be embarrassed, don't be nervous or scared. You ARE going to be welcomed. You won't be forced to go again either. That's going to be up to you. You can take AA for as little or as much as you need or want.
I'm happy for you. You've really made some big decisions here in the last 24hrs and your following through. That's awesome. Keep it up!
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