Originally Posted by Sadie1

I hear you, my husband is tender hearted too, so we had to say no to fostering anymore as we ended up adopting the ones with issues, so had to say no more. Have you tried Anxitane for your sprayer? That and Feliway have helped with our guy with that problem. Although feliway is such a rip it makes me mad, its cheaper on Amazon tho. Are you in Cali by chance? If so I bet we both have rescued from same shelters. We are lucky here in San Diego to have a good shelter system, LA is different story

Thanks for your care of the kitties! And best to you with sobriety.

Originally Posted by Fradley

Hello,


Just checking n to stay accountable and say hi to everyone. Loving the milestones from two weeks to ninety days to ten months.

I can't seem to shake this fatigue but am otherwise doing well on a conscious level. I am noticing that I am not thinking about drinking at all some days - if that makes sense.

On another level I am anxious still that this is all a guerrilla tactic by my AV to lower my guard so it can pounce and get me.

Home life is evidently better and business is improving - undoubtedly due to me being more present and balanced.

Challenges will emerge in a few weeks from now when my in laws will move permanently nearby, followed by visits from my mother, then long lost brother from overseas. All are huge triggers previoulsy resulting in heavier than normal drinking. I feel ready to face this but am not looking forward to it.

I'm also petrified of relapsing and the consequences if I do. Even though I know I sm in control and nothing can make me pick up a drink if I don't wish to ( which - just for the sake of typing it out - I do not wish to do)

I think I need to get some extra help lined up and have been considering AA or counseling.

I'm not keen on the idea of AA as I don't have any religious beliefs whatsoever and it will be also be practically difficult for me to make any meetings on a regular basis ( I have checked out venues etc).

Counseling is more of an option but expensive and seems to me to be an unjustifiable luxury to explain to Mrs Fradley when cash is currently so tight.

To put the latter in context we could have three nights away on a farm with the kids fir the same price as two hours counseling.

And boy do we need a little holiday !

That said, I feel if I don't get help in some form, I may fall and never get up again, losing everything.


So in one sense I am totally sorted , 120 days sober and a much better man for it...
... But simultaneously I am still edging along a cliff trying not to look down, unsure of when the path may become safer.

SR is all I have ( and I am truly grateful to all of you for keeping me safe and true ) , but...

... But what ?

Am I paranoid and overthinking this? Or wisely preparing for a struggle?

Stay well everyone and thanks for listening

Fradley

Originally Posted by Saskia

Since it's almost tomorrow, I'll just note that tomorrow is 14 months sober for me. I'm so grateful and happy. Life isn't roses every day but every day I am sober is a much better day for me :-)