Yes vf keep coming back.. i to lost a very important relationship and it saddens me deeply.. i dont know if you really want to get back with your ex or not (i dont know if i do either) but drinking will obviously only destroy any chance. We must get sober for ourselves. Id say your on the right track getting back to AA and i would recommend finding a sponsor.. the fellowship of AA is great but only one side of the triangle.. the steps is where the magic happens.. good luck!!