Originally Posted by
Saffy86 
Thank you so much for your compassion teatreeoil007 - it has been and still is absolute hell
there are days where I just don't feel like I can keep battling through any more. He thrives on control and uses my position as a single mum to control and abuse me and it's hard just waking up some mornings. My children are my focus and what keeps me going. It certainly feels like he is trying to destroy my soul but I really don't want that to happen. My children need a healthy, happy mum and I'm trying so hard to be that.
Thank you also for your insight, I agree about the young girlfriend being part of his "fix" and his way of coping with guilt. I guess it also fuels the denial if she has the same problem too, hey surely they can't both be addicts!? It really helps to have someone give their opinion on the situation as it helps me to stay strong and focused on protecting my girls from the pain and destruction this man causes. He uses manipulation techniques to play the victim and to avoid taking any responsibility and when I'm having weak moments sometimes I feel like it's me in the wrong by being a protective mother. xx
A big part of an addict getting clean and sober being held accountable. And staying that way. They may not like that, in some cases that is the only way they can't recover successfully. Right now, the younger girlfriend is not holding him accountable, and that's why he was probably drawn to her in the first place. She is fulfulling a need he has right now, even though we all know it's an unhealthy need. Unfortunately, it is usually the spouse who gets to be the one to hold them accountable and that can really wear on you! Thus, you got to really take care of your own self. For obvious reasons, he won't.
And, you should absolutely, positively NOT put up with ANY abuse.
