Thank you all for your kind words. I'm feeling better. Tonight im going to do that list in what I hated about his drinking and why I left.
I know a lot of the stuff on that list will be what happened 4..5...8 years ago...does that even justify leaving from the hurt so long ago? Because if I'm honest his drinking was much hurtful then..than what it was a year before I left.
He always said I never let go of things and held on to past stuff. Perhaps I did...perhaps that's why it never worked because I never forgave. Who know I'm muddled up!? I guess its the process. And if I'm honest things that hurt me were not as bad as stories on here...he said I was sensitive as too...perhaps I am.
Thanks for letting me vent!!!!!