Hi all,
Holds I'm sorry for your loss. Hang in there everyone.
I guess I'll jump on the blah train and confess that I was pretty miserable today too. A bad interaction at work left me angry and paranoid all day. I know my feelings are mostly irrational but I do often feel antagonism from everyone there and I want to quit on the spot. I know this is irrational because I've struggled with this feeling at every job I've had for the past 16 years.
I admit I thought about what I used to do after days like this: drink with a vengeance. Pace around in my room quietly acting out the violent arguments I want to have with the people who slighted me.
Also today a customer dropped off two flats of beer as a thank you for services I went out of my way to provide free of charge. It might as well have been a bottle of bleach. After work I drank a coke, ate a candy bar and went to the gym instead of getting hammered. Now I just feel really sad, like I'm still digging that hole minus the booze. I need to get back into counseling. My poor sponsor is gonna get an earful tomorrow at our first meeting.
Okay, pity party over. Thanks for listening.