6 months away, now I am back
I took six months away from this site to see how life would go. Tried a couple of antidepressants with some great success at first. Then with each of them I started drinking again. The last two months have not been very nice. Never before had I drank 4 to 6 times a week and that is what has been going on. Increasingly more and getting more erratic.
In the end I don't know if I will ever find a pill to make me normal, or social, but I do know one huge step I can take is to stop drinking again.
So here is to my day one. It will not be hard as I drank way too much yesterday and feel terrible, physically ok, but the self hate and mental aspect is not good. I have not been sober for more than three days in the last three months.
I get to a place where I glorify drinking and need something to balance it out and in the past this site has been very helpful. It is easy to glorify the drinking because it is fun at first, then not fun at all.
The plan is in place and I am going to work the plan. Wish me luck and I wish luck to all the people who are struggling.