I read this last night and have been thinking about it often today. Learning how to appropriately tolerate; and not tolerate that which is abusive or destructive.
Too often I let abusive behaviors slide and I don't know how to deal with them. DS8 has been dealing with some bullying comments from "friends" in his class.
I told him I'm okay with punching them if he chooses to, we laughed, he admitted he's been feeling like doing that! We both know that's not a part of our programs, and he knows it would lead to suspension, which I'm also okay with. I admitted I don't know what to do and that it's important for us to reach out to others for advice on this.
We also talked about how he could tell them to stop saying something, other than yelling"shut up!" That was his suggestion and got a couple more laughs. We know that's not appropriate, either. He doesn't want to get in trouble over it. He wants to learn how to stand up for himself. Today we turned it over to his teacher. DS is in Alakid, goes to some Alanon meetings with me and knows people in the program he can ask for advice.
DS8 is a "nice" kid who doesn't cause problems. He smiles easily and wants to please others. That's what made me realize how much he needed some help. He's now learning how to admit other feelings and deal with them.
My journey is along this lately, too. Without getting my "people-pleasing" fix, how do I feel good about myself and life?
Ahh.... Tolerate myself. My quirks. My feelings. My humanness. My recovery, as it is. One-day-at-a-time. Reach out to others. Do the next right action. Daily reading like this one. Give it to God, and then do my part.
Honeypig, thank you, my friend, for posting these.
