Emotional bank is what I generally call it. Taking her emotional bank to zero is one thing. Keep making withdrawals, and you go NSF. When you go NSF at your local bank they are not very happy. They even retaliate a bit with nasty calls and letters. (Sound familiar with her) If you have taken your wife's emotional bank negative, don't expect good gestures from her until you bring it back up above zero. Keep making deposit after deposit and stop taking withdrawals from her emotional bank. If you can and do think like this, I believe every human responds whether they understand why or not. I know I do. I have an emotional bank with every person I know. I don't think about it like that but it is there, guaranteed.
Also remember, that the local bank can and will close your account when they have had enough with your NSF's. Your wife can and will as well (it's called divorce). Now is the time to decide. Will you take more withdrawals. I pray you will not. Best wishes.