WWS, good to see you reaching out for help, sorry though that it was a relapse that brought you back. Stick close; the early days are the easiest for AV to argue a relapse. Can you share what went wrong? What will you do to prevent it happening again?
Key of C I have a friend who I used to always have a great time with over several bottles of wine, just yipping and laughing, but felt like we were close. When I stopped drinking, she couldn't deal, and it wasn't because she was shocked at the extent of my drinking, it was because she tentatively admitted that she drank more than she wanted to and was over reliant on it... But wasn't in a place to deal with it. Because of that she cannot see me without seeing her own issues, it made a continuing friendship impossible. I understand, and hope that one day she will come to terms and I will be there for her if she does. I don't know what
your friends issues might be, she may just be digesting your news. Give her time and if she is a true friend, she will be back. If not, then you don't need her in your recovery circle. Well done on 60 days.
Cauli, I think InControl has some really sound words there. Without knowing the ins and outs of your interrelationship issues it is impossible to comment specifically. You mention your dad had written a book, could you offer to write a forward and send him a draft of what you would like to say ( in the draft, just write him some of what you want to say to him, the emotional content may open a line of communication between you.
I also have to offer a word, as a misunderstood evil step mom. It took years, and my own counselling to overcome my own issues, before I and my daughter could develop a real relationship. Even now, she prefers to blame me for things rather than accept that her dad might not be perfect or always on her side. She has no idea how many times I have stood her corner with him, getting him to understand her point of view. I had many sleepless nights and we almost split up over her. I am fortunate, I was mature enough and had access to the right kind of counselling to help me recognise how my own issues were standing in the way of a relationship with my girl. Yes,
my girl. My daughter in all but genetics is the best thing that ever happened to me, but if I hadn't pushed way out of my comfort zone and recognised my own shortcomings, the relationship would never have happened and she would continue to hate me. The first time my girl told me she loved me is etched on my heart.
I just want you to know that sometimes our vulnerabilities can prevent us risking relationships that have the potential to strengthen us. I am not saying all evil step moms have a loving core, just that this one does!
. Feel free to PM if you want to talk more x
HappyH, maybe you can take your friends daughter shopping for a present and stop for cake and a coffee as your way of celebrating her birthday? You could even if you are not too embarrassed, share some of your problem. At her age she is vulnerable to the temptations and social pressures of drink. X
BeFree I hope your cravings passed, it's good you checked in, did you go to a meeting? Reinforcement that you are on the right road will help when cravings kick in.
Hugs all Undies