The stark realization that some of our actions when drinking may be forgiven by another at some point, but change the relationship permanently is indeed difficult to come to grips with.
If not cautious our new sobriety can be threatened because we are not immediately getting what we want and feel sorry for ourselves. I know I was very capable of getting into the poor me's.
One of the greatest things the program of AA teaches us is to make amends. For those we love, these are typically living amends. No more of I am sorry, or gee let me buy you a gift works anymore. We simply have to change and that is a slow process. Sometimes the best amends are letting another move on with their life and respect their wishes to do so. We can't "fix" everything even though is hurts like heck for us.
Counselling can help deal with this, however and should be considered along with AA and SR. One day you may awake and the world will start to look different/better> I know I felt around 6 months a fog lift. Remember the movie Pleasantville when everything black and white slowly changed to living color!?
Gaining sober time was like that for me and I see it in others eyes. You go to meetings, look at their eyes - there's a light - if you stick around you'll find it, no doubt.
Think perhaps of doing some service work at a local shelter or the salvation army, perhaps. Find a way to help someone else........you'll start to heal - I promise!
keep coming back and keep posting, friend
Glad your here with us!