This is a great thread! I don't know if I can pin point any one thing, but there were several things posted that I think I will try. The one that sticks out the most is the "I'm sorry." People all my life have told me that I say that too much. The thing is is that I am not actually sorry as if I did something wrong.... I'm just empathetically acknowledging that something bad has happened to someone else. But I am beginning to understand how others do not see it that way and how a simple shift in words can change how others percieve me.
I suppose the thing that has brought me this far has been to detach and to stop engaging in drama. Also, I make myself a priority now and I care less and less about "rocking the boat" when I feel that I should speak up and say something. I can still be tactful and respectful while allowing myself to have an opinion!