DD ... "Perfectionist" might not be the right word. You are very intelligent and sometimes that can get in the way of taking care of our own issues. I say that from personal experience. In the past, I have had a difficult time stripping away my "layers" and being completely honest. Not so much honest with myself, but honest with the process of healing.
By that I mean, if someone asks me a question (let's say it relates to recovery), I probably know the right answer. At least I know what I think the right answer is. How difficult it is for me to open up and admit that while I know the "right" answer, I may not be at that point. We do this all the time. "How are you doing today?" Great! "How was your weekend?" Awesome. We become very adept at giving people the "right" answer. We rush to have everything fixed.
Women, more so than men, seem to be pleasers and caretakers and often put their needs behind those of others. That's a dangerous trap as the needs of others will never be completely satisfied which means there will never be an optimal time for the caretaker to address their own needs.
That's long, rambling and probably incoherent! If you feel the need to take the time to address some deep concerns, AA might be a mechanism for doing so.
Compared to some whom (who? whom?) I "read" on SR, I have always felt like I was more fragile. I had my doubts and temptations. For a long time I missed the pleasurable aspects of drinking. I'm at a different place now and my spirituality has been a significant driver in that transformation. It sounds simplistic, but I finally got to a point where I could just move on from alcohol. It has become a non-issue for me.
Rambling ...