I dunno, I think sending the picture was civil. I think not volunteering details he didn't ask for was civil. I think declining to put your daughter on the phone when she was already in bed was civil.
Sounds to me like you handled it all just fine. You're scrutinizing every move because you are figuring it out, but if you try to think before you speak, offer, or send something about why you are doing it, you will soon be able to behave that way without overthinking it.