DD I am right here with you, I feel like I am a failure at life because I drank so much and let my kids down at the point in their lives I need to be normal.. I feel like I should drink and just be miserable but with alcohol.. Yet I remember why I quit in the first place. Beating ourselves up doesn't help us at all.. YOU can have fun without alcohol, I like going out and watch ppl get drunk and just laugh at them.. Than put yourself in their shoes, remember what they will feel like tomorrow...