Hi Yren, welcome to sr.
I couldn't stop either, my pattern was similar to yours, always ending up binging!
When I stopped I found this site and it became my lifeline with people who had similar problems and those who had experienced getting sober and staying sober.
I'm pleased your mum told you how she felt and I'm pleased of your reaction. A lot of time we can be in denial for a long time, never facing our addiction.