And there he is....
Haven't posted in a bit but wanted to share.
So, AH had his twice weekly phone call with DD last night. The past month the calls have been upbeat and filled with words about looking to the future, making the family whole again (not happening), blah, blah, blah. He was really sounding like a sober, remorseful person who was finally understanding the devastation that he caused. Last night, my DD was playing a video game and was kind of tired and distracted during the call. He says to her "If the video game is more important then me I can get off of the phone" (I listen to all of their calls on speaker phone). My DD was so upset that she handed me the phone and just started crying. I calmed her down and she was able to finish the call ok. I get that she was distracted and kind of only half listening, but I totally caught the subtle manipulation in his words. She is only 7 and takes everything at face value. It was a great reminder to me on why I am doing this...why I am sticking to not getting back together with him.
Oh, and at the recommendation of many wise people on here, I picked up Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft. I feel like I am getting whiplash from nodding to myself at almost every single page. It is really helping me realize just how bad things were and how text book abusive my AH is.