Yup, you're allowed to be human. Nothing you're "not so proud of" is anything to be ashamed of, either.
Just do your best to keep your gears in "neutral" till you are OUT. No whistling, no engaging with his sadness/anger/insanity. You can skip and jump happily once you are out of range. No need to rub salt in anyone's wounds--yours or his.
I'm proud of you, too, and really impressed by how well you've managed all this in a fairly short period of time. It really is true that once our minds are made up, suddenly everything becomes very clear, and anything is possible.
