FWIW, I'm asking you to give yourself a break on that list of things you're not proud of just now. Until you've had some space and time away from this day-to-day, really-not-healthy interaction, you shouldn't set standards of behavior that would be tough for even the healthiest of couples to maintain.
I'm super proud of you for how you're moving forward, firebolt. I can't wait to hear about your bright and beautiful future.