Thank you Maia! I AM proud of me right now. There are things i'm not proud of...
Detaching without the love part.
Engaging.
Lots and lots of anger and cold shoulder to him.
Lying to myself that ANYTHING i've said in 5 years has sunk in with regards to drinking.
General codie behavior, mainly vodka bottle level checking (although I'd argue that knowing is sometimes appreciated, so you know the level of conversation / confiding to bother attempting), and ditching out on my friends and fam in the beginning to hang with him.
And just mostly staying so long, let alone starting the relationship despite my feeling about his drinking.
Those are mine, and the next chapter is me forgiving me, and fixing that so as not to repeat, and for that, I am so excited!