Lyoness.... Good thoughts to you and prayers.
You are not worthless. I've just read this entire thread completely and it has been good for me. It's reminded me of the strength I have that I didn't think I had. I was in a very bad place mentally and physically, for a long time.
Here is how I built up belief in myself: I walked to my mailbox and back. Every day a little farther. I walked in light, dark, rain... a little bit more each day. That was 2 years ago. Now I can run a half marathon. Go figure.
The point is not that you need to go walk or run a marathon. The point is, do a little something to show yourself you are strong and capable. Because you are.
It helped me to face things, bigger things. But first I had to do something to prove to myself that I am strong, to build my confidence. Just a small accomplishment goes a long way.
Thinking of you!