For me, my family history is beyond bleak. My father and my aunt, his sister, were alcoholics, as is my brother. No other relatives on that side.
On my mother's side, my first aunt's son, my cousin, is an alcoholic and addict, now recovered but with a very limited life. My second aunt had 7 children, and all 6 of the boys were addicts and/or alcoholics as was her husband. He died of alcoholism, and 3 of her sons are dead from drugs and/or alcohol, 2 of them permanently disabled and only one is a recovered alcoholic with a semblance of a normal life. My mother's brother was an alcoholic, and of his 9 children, only 2 or 3 live normal non-addicted lives. It was particularly devastating for my male relatives, whatever the genetics of that mean.
I remember being at a family reunion many years ago for my maternal grandmother's 100th birthday celebration, and as I looked around that room at the profound dysfunction and damaged lives that had survived her, I vowed to do all I could to stop that cycle from continuing with me and my children.
My children, as a result of my stern and perhaps overdone approach to addiction, are healthy and have always been so. I, however, married a second husband who was an abusive alcoholic, so while I survived without addiction myself, the addictive livestyle was all too present in my mindset.
Now three years out of that marriage, at age 65, I have worked hard to understand and move beyond that model of life, and am happier and more serene than I have ever been. And my children and grandchildren have a very good shot at happy normal lives. (I am, however, still superstitious when I say that, and just tapped the desk 3 times...)
My own rules for myself are that I never drink alone; don't drink at home except when I have dinner guests; never drink more than 2 glasses of wine; and, most particularly, when I really "WANT" another glass of wine, that is the signal to not touch another drop.
I'm lucky that I can enforce that easily for myself and I tried my hardest to educate and forewarn my children. Here's hoping that we've turned the corner with this generation. It is a terrifying, devastating, cunning and relentless disease that physically ensnares its victims long before they know their shoulder has been tapped.
I have great admiration for those many of you on this board who have vanquished this devil, and always, I send my you prayers and good wishes.
ShootingStar1