Originally Posted by Ditchingthewine

Thanks Blueberry,

I just wrote a long reply, but my PC crashed! Grrr!

I simply said "no thanks, I've really, really gone off alcohol. I don't enjoy it anymore". Simple as that. I meant it, too.

I'm not arrogant enough to assume I will always feel like this. I know my feelings will change.

However, last night I felt strong enough to go, so I did. If I hadn't have done, I would have stayed at home.

If I had stayed in last night, for me PERSONALLY, that would have been counter-productive. I would have resented my sobriety for holding me back. Also heightened my social isolation and anxiety and made me feel like I actually CAN'T socialise sober. I now know I CAN.

I am gong to draw on this in my darkest moments to help me through. Also going to draw on the ludicrous sight and sound of drunken people making fools of themselves.

I'm not saying "that's it, I'm fixed [smug grin]". I'm saying I had a good night without drink. I'm not going to feel bad for doing well even if it is only day 3.

I have relapsed countless times, but I FEEL mentally very, very different thus time. It's all I'm saying.

Addiction is very personal and I absolutely appreciate that.