Originally Posted by
LexieCat 
Maybe it's time to give your mind a BREAK and go do something fun, that you enjoy just for the sake of doing it.
Just like alcoholism, other issues (like this one) can't necessarily be thought through. Sometimes you just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and trust that you are going to be fine. You have all the KNOWLEDGE you need--you just have to start living your life and revisit it when you need to.
One of my favorite AA sayings: "It's easier to act your way into right thinking than it is to think your way into right acting."
I lost sight of what fun meant to me long ago.
I know this sounds odd because I'm very young still, but I feel bitter in that sense.
I do have fun by doing some stuff, but not like crazy fun were I was happy and forgot about everything... I haven't had that type of fun in a long time.
Maybe I am not letting myself be because I'm scared of all, and because I feel I ruined this (the relationship).
Ahh, it is weird, but I know what you are saying. So I will try.