So I was asked for an update. I tried 3 times on my laptop n lost them so I'm on phone now.
Hubby is drinking so he's technically my AH on here now. It doesn't take much for him to get drunk since he has a TBI from the motorcycle accident. Can you believe it's been 2 years?! I know I can't. I knew if He survived he wouldn't be the same and he's not. He suffers from short term memory loss and remembers nothing! He doesn't even remember pictures that I took of him, the baby n our dogs. I think that there is more going on but getting him to agree to go to the Dr is another story. But I do believe Alzheimer's and or Dementia will be on our door step soon enough. I'll take care of that when it makes itself more clear to me. We had an issue the other day that makes me wonder if it'll be here sooner than later and He wasn't drunk. He thought for sure we had a conversation that never took place. He asked me this morning, did we really not talk about that?! I said no n He shook his head n told me how real it was. He doesn't know if he was awake or not but he was adamant it happened. He felt like I was making him crazy. It scares me that his mind may be going.
He's like a box of chocolates. He can be so sweet n then so bitter n nasty. I deal with him according to how he is. If He thinks he has been horrible, he will tell me how sorry He is n I tell him to just be quiet, n do better n he says ok. Why yell n scream over it? He won't remember n it frustrates us both. He can be such a jerk too but I pray that God makes him sleepy. I fill his belly n tell him to go lay down or go float in the pool. Just get away from me before I punch him in the forehead which never happens. lol
As far as I'm concerned, I'm ok. Getting greyer by the day but I'm good. Just had my gallbladder removed n feel much better. I'm back to work. Haven't had the little one because I'm not allowed to lift But she's been stopping over to use the pool with her Momma n Daddy. I'm getting ready for October Tree Stand Therapy.
I have been filling the freezer with meals for AH so he doesn't starve while I'm in the woods. He does know Its coming n he does know he doesn't like It.
So. Nothing much has changed. He's drinking. Has brain injury n memory loss n I'm just like... We'll get through it together. I'm not leaving. I'm ok with what I have n don't have. Someday it will be over n if God takes him, I'll then so be it. If God takes me first then so be it. Never know who's going before the other but if I get out of This marriage alive, I'm going to fall in love with myself n laugh at the first dude who tries to pick me up. I'm so over men. I've never lived on my own n that is my plan if I get a chance.