I think the words you are looking for are "assertive" or "self-possessed" or "pro-active" (as opposed to being RE-active). You are taking care of yourself and your needs in a healthy way, rather than playing "defense."
You know, one of the things I learned as a prosecutor is not to let the defense's claims control MY case. It's very easy for a prosecution to get off-track when you're running around trying to put out the brushfires and red herrings the defense strews around for that precise PURPOSE (think the O.J. Simpson case--the prosecution there would have been much better off, IMO, had they stuck to piling up the proof they had, rather than spending all their energy on damage-control). Same thing here. You do YOUR thing, and let him do whatever. YOU are going forward, regardless.
Great game plan!