Two Weeks
It has been two weeks since my much-loved Grandmother passed away. It was extremely sudden. I am still struggling. I am not sure what to do. My work contract ends at the end of August as well so I will be unemployed again. I am trying to come to terms with everything. I will miss my job and I made some great friends. I am sending out CVs etc.
To be honest, I am just fed up.
Last year, when I was unemployed, I got in touch with a local charity and I was giving volunteer English lessons to this guy. Our sessions were weekly, for about 5 months and ended just before Christmas because I was busy with my family, and he had done the exam and passed it so that was fine. However, we kept in touch and he would e-mail me from time to time. He kept asking me out for dinner as a "thank you" and I kept turning him down. I considered him a pupil/friend and nothing more. However he asked me for a coffee one evening about a month ago and I was at a bit of a loose end so I agreed. We went for a coffee and to the cinema and I went home. That's it. Nothing more.
Now he has asked me to marry him out of the blue. Sent me a message saying he loves me, that his visa is up at the end of the year and he loves me and blah blah blah. Look, I may be shy and quiet, but I am so so angry at this. I went out of my way to be nice and helpful and I get all this rubbish in return. I thought I was being a good person and I get used and taken for a ride.
I am raging actually. Probably thought "I will tell her I love her and she will fall for it because she is so quiet". He actually told me that I am quiet.
I am just so angry at everything. Why should I bother being nice and helpful to anyone when people are just out for what they can get from you?
On a different note, no I am not going to drink.
I feel tired and sad and sick and angry but I will honour my Granny's memory by staying sober.