As I read your thread- and thank you - one thought came to mind; what a lucid post. Well constructed and written.
It then occurred to me how my thinking prior to quitting drinking was the opposite of lucid - opaque and irrational. "An alcoholic in his cups is an unlovely creature." As Bill reminds us in his story. For me, this was a generous description of my condition!
My willingness preceded my acceptance, although I did not know it at the time. When I rolled into the rooms, I was willing to see what AA could offer in terms of help. I was willing to be willing. I thought I had accepted that I was a alcoholic. I had not.
I did step work with a sponsor, read, prayed and meditated. I would hear others introduce themselves before sharing as real alcoholics. I thought it was over the top. I could not find my inner most self to admit anything to. I barely could find any semblance of myself at all - wasn't certain I wanted to.
Slowly the fog in my brain lifted. I had done as a sponsor suggested - stay sober long enough for our brains to clear. This was around 6 months.
At some point while reading the Dr's Opinion (again and again) I truly began to understand. I comprehended there are many types of alcoholics - "many more" (than five) types. pg xxx
I could identify with type # 5 - "Then there are types entirely normal in every respect except in the effect alcohol has upon them." I tried for years to be type # 3 - "There is the type who always believes that after being entirely free from alcohol for a period of time he can take a drink without danger."
And that common thread regardless of which type one may identify with - " All these, (types) and many others, have one symptom in common. They cannot start drinking without developing the phenomenon of craving. "
I finally
understood the mental and psychical parts of the illness. "This phenomenon as we have suggested may be the manifestation of an allergy....."
Yes - that was the key to real acceptance = real understanding of what the writers where trying to express. Truth that starts with clarity, needs time to fester and that God eventually (hopefully) reveals.
The book was written with tremendous lucidity - I am grateful I may begin to understand it's contents.
For anyone struggling, look at the first three words on page 112. That is indeed the key
peace