Hi everyone-
I just wanted to do a quick update.
Though anger and resentment still remain simmering for me what has come up after my last post in my therapy sessions is underneath that anger.
Like all children I believed that all the crazy in my family was my fault. Though my head does not believe that anymore, my heart and emotions do deep down.
I frankly have felt pretty cruddy the last ten days as I have allowed this to surface. My therapist thinks it may be "the last hurrah," of stuff that I need to look at from my ED standpoint.
Of course I can't "let go" of these relationship when I am hanging onto the fact that they are my fault.
So though I feel cruddy I am glad because this is forward movement for me. I am having a lot of physical tightness as a result (TMJ is trying to happen for the first time in five years) and I am very tired/awake at weird times.
I have regularly scheduled therapy appts right now, and will keep them up as long as I need to.
This eye procedure has been such a HUGE BLESSING in my life. I had no idea what I had tucked away that was keeping me stuck.
I have a lot to go through, but it is organic and I have faith that this is so much better then where I was before. I have faith that this is the closure my body, and emotional self needs so I can close out some of these challenged relationships in my life.