Glb82 - it definitely does sound like we're similar with quantity, etc! Thanks for commenting. I'm scared, too. But I'm even more scared of what will happen if I continue. I'll lose my job, my family, and probably die within the next year or two. I know this can't go on. I want to be able to say "I'll never drink again, and I'll never change my mind." That was on another member's signature when they posted on a different thread. I thought to myself...THAT is how to commit yourself. Say it with intention and mean it.
I have tried to quit so many times it's getting to be ridiculous. I know I just need to suffer through the first few days of withdrawal symptoms and then I'll feel SO much better. I couldn't believe last time I quit for the 17 days how much better I felt and how little I really missed alcohol. What ruined it for me is that I went to a concert and I ALWAYS drank alcohol at concerts before. So it was more like I was on auto-pilot. Too new in my recovery journey to put myself in that position and so I relapsed.
Glad you're here. Keep posting!