P- the only way you will over come what you need to do for you and your baby is read and educate yourself. He is an addict and his mistress (alcohol) will ALWAYS come before the 2 of you.
Don't count and expect anything from you. You are on this trip alone. Keep reading and finding out what other people have done. Reach out and ask questions. You will survive this and get out in one piece. It takes time and strength. A big strong oak tree took many years to grow like that.
Hugs my friend!!! You will be ok!!!