I've never told my mom how much I hated her for her drinking. That conversation is saved for my therapist. I have over 2 years of sobriety and while I didn't do anything horrible to my parents I did cause them worry and we have all moved past my drinking years. So I do have that to be grateful for. I probably will never tell my mom how much she has hurt me, my family doesn't air those kinds of feelings and we were taught to suck it up. I think telling her anything will just make it worse even if it makes me feel better for just a moment. She recently told me how proud she was of me for all that I have accomplished since I got sober and my dad has told me that as well in his own way. I really just need to accept her for who she is and to forgive for all the wrong she has done to me. I have been journaling constantly recently to just get this anger out. I will never show it to her but it helps to just put it down on paper. Thanks for all of your words of advice.