Good morning, class! Time to get back on track for me. Yesterday's drinking and subsequent realizations made me recognize how badly I need and want to do this. I don't think there's ever been a time when I've had sober time, had a drink and felt as defeated. It's always been, "oh well, I guess that's it, isn't it?" But not this time.
This time I feel stupid about it, since I knew so well how easily it could happen yet I allowed my junkie mind to have control and take me to that place where my rational mind knew I should never have gone. This is the same struggle I had when I quit smoking so many years ago. The inner addict wants to kill me. The rational mind is used to being passive and letting the addict have its way because, well, the addict has a louder, greedier voice. But there has to be a day of reckoning.
So I'm back here on day 1 with you all and I'm going to keep doing this until I get it right. I did not "lose" that sober time because it helped me. It's still day one today, though.
Hope everyone else is doing well. I'm off to read the posts. Have a great day, everyone.