Originally Posted by
LostLilly 
Hi KeyofC! I am on day 15 too, also have 3 kids and have been married 15yrs. It is time to change for me! I am full of guilt and have no self esteem at the moment. I know I need to be a stable parent for my kids. You are right though, it needs to be done for me. I have self medicated stupidly with wine and have made a mess. Emotionally I am all over the place but one thing I know is that I must change. Nice to meet you!
Lilly
Nice to meet you too! Oh yes I'm a mess too! I was raised to do kind of like the Miranda Lambert song "go and hide you're crazy and start acting like a lady cause I raised you better gotta keep it together even when you fall apart". Masking and wearing masks and worrying about everyone else before myself also have contributed to my addiction. I still am angry and I want to lash out because I am surrounded by drinkers. Kind of normal drinkers but they are on the edge of abusing alcohol. But I am only responsible for me and pointing fingers will not help me. I gotta work on me but it's hard living with an active drinker. I've had hard times but this is one of the hardest things I've done. No doubt. Good luck to you! trying to learn how this site works!