Hello
Hello,
I read this forum frequently and love all the collective wisdom. I was a member before but I covered my tracks so well I ended up having to create a new profile.
Anyway I am currently separated from AH and have been for 2 years minus a very brief and disastrous attempt at reconciliation. My head knows it is time to file but my heart hasn't caught up yet.
Current situation: I am raising and am the sole provider for our 2 kids. They have little contact with their father due to his struggles with alcohol. The last 3 years have been tough. We have suffered tremendous financial set backs due to the drinking. I was more or less a stay at home mom with a PT job to keep busy. AH had a great career but has gone through 3 jobs and been without a job for long stretches due to his drinking. Plus he made incredibly stupid and costly decisions at times and didn't consult me. Oh and don't forget the medical bills from detox, ER visits, etc. Some without insurance due to the sketchy work history.
The good news: I start a new FT job soon that is close to my home and won't require child care. We sold our beautiful but costly, money sucking jointly owned home a while back. AH says he has a new job but he says a lot of things. My credit is good and there is no debt in my name. We won't even discuss his financials especially since he has hidden all financial info from me for years.
Here's the part where I can use some experience, strength and hope...we are soooo broke. It feels like I will never get ahead. I'm terrified of raising the kids on my little salary. I am college educated just in a low paying field. I make about 1/5 of what AH made before alcohol kicked his butt. I've had to burn through lots (OK almost all) of savings. I'm struggling to save up for divorce costs and every time I get ahead something comes up. The latest is a plumbing problem in the home I rent. Landlord says it is my problem to fix. So here I sit with no working toilets or shower figuring out how I'm going to pay a plumber. Yippee.
Please someone tell me your tale of leaving an alcoholic marriage, facing poverty and coming out OK. Share your ramen recipes and your budget strategies. Tell me I can do this because you have too.