Hi strivingwoman, great job on finding your way back here and reaching out. You have such a promising life to look forward to. Sounds like you have a chosen career and a marriage coming down the pike, and with that marriage maybe even a family to care for. And you are young, very young. At the same time, you are drinking 3 bottles of wine and taking xanax 4 times a day. Im sure you understand this is problematic, correct? This site provides unconditional support around the clock, and I hope it is enough to turn the ship around and head back to port, but if it is not, I hope you are determined to get whatever help necessary. Wish you the very best.