You're not insane.
You do have a magnificent mind and a drive to approach life intensely in your quest to learn, wonderful traits but ones I don't think permit you much "chill" time.
What do you do to relax, Aellyce? What are the activities that nurture your soul?
I'm a little more attuned to that since I began taking a tai chi class in May. Our teacher reminds us that we are programmed to think rather than being aware. That's a tough one for me. But I think it is helping me with life. On a practical note, I seem to have made great strides in my fight against insomnia -- a lifelong issue, one that preceded alcoholism.
Thinking of you, friend. I had a get-together yesterday with some of the "girls" from high school, including a couple I'd not seen in a long time. It was the first time in quite a while I'd received condolences for Dad's death in May of last year. It felt good for someone to acknowledge it, to acknowledge an event that has caused me pain.