Thanks so much for the replies guys, it always amazes me just how much support and understanding there is here. It really helps.
I've definitely been beating myself up a bit today but I'm not letting myself fall into self pity and instead trying to just look at what needs to change to stop this happening again - you're all so right, I love hearing how you guys relate and any advice, it's hard to trust myself sometimes and I also forget just how similar we all are.
It's great to not feel so alone, sometimes I feel like no one in real life gets it at all, even my AA friends sometimes seem like perfect examples and I'm the failure.
Ah calling people who have offered me their numbers and support is something I struggle with to be honest, I never want to feel like a burden (yet then I get drunk, make a fool of myself and make everyone close to me suffer as a result, so that's obviously some pretty flawed thinking)
Thanks again for the support