Well, I managed to leave the house today, which makes today better than yesterday (I only left yesterday to talk to my girlfriend, and that was truly horrible). It's in the high thirties here, so I went to the Freibad. It was so nice to feel the water against me. I know from previous attempts to quit that you really can only take it one day at a time. And I'm not drinking today. Which is two days in a row and is a start. This forum is great. Right now, all I can do is focus on the present moment. I've done something terrible, and I might not be forgiven for it. But if I stick to the path of sobriety, hopefully I will get the chance to make amends.