Yep, tough one to answer. I've been sober 12 months now.
I spent 21 years drinking heavily. The first 10 I knew I needed to quit but didn't really try. The next 9 I thought about trying, woke up every morning and swore I wouldn't drink that night... each night I convinced myself I deserved a drink. The last two years I gave up on quitting, drank around the clock and didn't care about quitting.
Then I found SR and gave it a good try to quit. Two or three relapses and then I went 9 months sober. Relapsed for one year then quit again.
Now I'm one year sober.
You can do this. It's a tough battle, but there are plenty of success stories here to help motivate you.
Stay strong Nick.